First Time
by theriversongwho
Summary: I got the idea from tumblr. Cas goes to the dentist for the first time and reacts badly because it reminds him of his time with Naomi.


"You want to take Cas to get a physical? _Cas? Our _Cas?" Sam asked incredulously,

Dean glared. He didn't understand why Sammy was making such a big deal out of this. He just wanted to make sure Cas was healthy. What was so wrong with that?

"Yes, I do. Do you have a problem with it?" Dean snapped, feeling irritated.

"Geez, don't get your panties in a bunch."

Dean felt himself blush. For a second, he thought Sam somehow knew about the time he'd tried on Rhonda Hurley's pink panties, but quickly realized it was just a figure of speech. He'd been hanging out with Cas so much that he was starting to take everything literally.

"Shut up. Bitch."

That was Dean's way of apologizing. He was too proud to just come right out and say it, and he hoped Sam got the message.

"Jerk."

He did. Dean smiled. He was glad they were back to saying that to each other. For the longest time, they hadn't said it, and he missed it. It reminded him of the good ol' days when things were simple, and his biggest concern was finding the demon that killed his mother. Now, everything was complicated. Heaven was empty, the angels were here, they couldn't close the gates of hell without someone dying, and it was all just too much. Just thinking about it gave him a headache.

"Do you think taking Cas to get a check up is a bad idea?" Dean asked, suddenly doubting himself.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I just see no need for it. The dude is fine. Remember Dad's rule- No hospitals/ doctors unless you're on the verge of death."

Dean sighed. "I just want to make sure he's healthy. We barely found him a week ago, after searching for a month. God knows where he's been, what kind of diseases he might have contracted. If he's gonna be living with us from now on, I wanna make sure he's not bringing some deathly virus. I always imagined dying a hero, not another sick person whose body was too weak to fight some stupid virus."

Sam nodded. "Makes sense, I guess."

Dean was relieved. Now all he had to do was get Cas to agree on it as well.

"Cas, take a shower. You're going to the doctor's in a few hours," Dean ordered, handing Cas a clean towel and some of his clean clothes.

Cas looked away from the TV, looking grumpy. His favorite show was on. Of all the shows the guy could watch, he chose to watch educational programs.

"Dean, I do not understand. Your people have come so far with medical discoveries and such, yet there is still mindless warfare going on. Why?" Cas cocked his head to the side, much like a confused puppy.

Dean groaned. It was too early in the morning to ponder on life's greatest mysteries. "I don't know Cas. People can be effing stupid. Did you hear what I said about going to the doctor's in a bit?"

Cas nodded, looking thoughtful. After a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke. "Why?"

"Because I want to make sure you're healthy."

"Why?"

Cas was like a young child. It could be frustrating at times, but Dean had learned to be patient with him over the years, at least more patient than he was before.

"Just because."

"But why?" Cas looked genuinely interested in Dean's response.

He was going to make Dean say it out loud, wasn't he? The angel was smarter than he seemed.

Dean avoided eye contact, and spoke gruffly. "Because I care about you."

Cas' eyes softened, and he looked genuinely touched. He nodded and awkwardly touched Dean's hand. He filled the space between them, looking deep into Dean's eyes. Dean swallowed, feeling sweat run down his brow.

Just then, Sam walked in.

"So get this-" he stopped abruptly, shifting uncomfortably. "Am I interrupting something?"

Dean shook his head vigorously, a blush creeping into his face for the second time that morning. Cas was unfazed.

"Uh, Cas was just about to shower, and I was telling him to wash behind his ears."

Sam scoffed but let it go. "The nurse said they have an opening at one. I said we'd be there, and I said his name was Roman Nebtas."

Dean frowned. "What kind of a name is that Sam? Couldn't you say something normal like Christopher Smith or something?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Psycho was on, the first name that came to me was Norman Bates, and Roman Nebtas is an anagram for it."

Dean had no idea what his nerd brother was talking about, but really didn't care.

"Okay. At least you made the appointment."

"Yeah. I'm gonna make some breakfast. Are you going to join me, or will you stick around to watch Cas shower? Perhaps joining him would be pleasant for you both." Sam looked extremely amused.

Cas frowned. "I do not think the bathtub is big enough to fit both of us comfortably, so I do not see how that would be pleasant for either of us."

Sam burst out laughing, and Dean rolled his eyes. He could already tell this was going to be a long day.

"Relax man, it's just a check-up. They won't do anything bad to you, I promise." Dean placed a comforting hand on Cas' shoulder.

Cas was looking extremely ill at this point. He swallowed a few times, before finally turning to look at Dean.

Dean saw fear in those blue eyes. Raw, undeniable fear. He'd never seen Cas like this before, and it worried him. He regretted making the appointment for Cas. Just like he was terrified of flying, Cas seemed scared of doctors, but worse yet, he was new at being human, so it must be ten times worse for him.

"Dude, are you okay?"

Cas shook his head, and suddenly gripped Dean's arm tightly. In a low voice, he whispered, "It reminds me of all those times with Naomi…"

Dean felt terrible. He didn't know what to say. He sighed softly. There was a time and place for everything, and now didn't seem like the time for Cas to be put through any more crap.

"Let's go man. Screw this. You're healthy enough." He motioned for the exit with his head.

Cas looked uncertain. He knew Dean really wanted him to get a check-up, but his fear of doctors was the only think he could think of, their metal tools poking him, probing into his body, and he didn't need to be told twice. He practically bolted out of the building.

Dean saw the relief in Castiel's eyes, and knew he had done the right thing. _All in its time, he thought._

3 months later

"What should we do?" Sam whispered, hovering over Cas' sleeping figure.

"I don't know man. I think we should take him to a dentist. He probably has an infection at this point." Dean lightly touched Cas' forehead. He definitely had a fever, but Dean didn't want to wake him. He hadn't slept in days, and grew weaker by the minute. At this point, Dean was hoping that a good night's rest was all it took for him to be back up on his feet.

"Fever?'

Dean nodded. "Go get me a rag, and a bucket full of cold water."

Sam looked shocked. "Dude, don't throw a bucket of water on him."

Dean was offended. "The bucket is to dip the rag in there and try to bring his temperature down."

"Oh," Sam smacked his forehead. "Duh. You used to do that when I was little. I remember."

Dean nodded and ushered him away.

"Cas," he whispered softly, "Don't die on me, okay? Fight this, I know you can. You're strong enough, you're one of the strongest people I know. We're family, man/ I don't know what I'd do if I lost another family member."

He leaned in and lightly kissed Castiel's forehead. He realized how high the fever probably was, and felt tears in his eyes, but quickly blinked them away. He wouldn't let himself give up that easily. Cas wasn't going to die, Dean wouldn't let it happen.

The next day, as Dean was tending to Cas' fever, Cas woke up. He didn't look as pale and clammy as the night before, and the fever wasn't as high. Dean knew they still weren't out of the woods yet, but he was relieved nonetheless.

"Hello Dean," Cas said weakly, slowly sitting up. His breath smelled like something had died in there, and Dean knew this was a bad sign. His words were also slurred, and his mouth swollen. They had to get him to a dentist ASAP.

"Hey man. How are you feeling today?" Dean wiped the sweat off of Cas' forehead with the rag.

"I feel funny, like I'm here, but I'm not. There is also a strange sensation inside of me, like my stomach is on fire. Am I dying?" Cas didn't look scared, just worried.

"Don't be silly, man. It's just a minor infection. It can be cured, but we have to take you to the dentist, otherwise it can become lethal." It pained Dean to say those last words. All he could think of was holding Cas' lifeless corpse in his arms, and it killed him.

Cas didn't want to go to the dentist; Dean could see it in his eyes. He was silently begging Dean to reconsider, but too weak to argue.

_Sorry Cas, Dean thought, feeling guilty. _He knew he was doing the right thing, but the look Cas was giving him physically pained him, so he looked away.

"Come on, we need to go now, before you get any worse…. SAM!"

Sam ran in, shaving cream on his face and a razor in his had. "What?" he exclaimed, worried.

"Help me get Cas into the impala. We're going to the dentist." Dean demanded, helping Cas out of the bed and throwing Castiel's arm over his shoulder.

"I'm not ready though. Let me just wash my face."

"There's no time. Let's go. Just help me take him to the car. You don't have to go with us."

Sam looked hurt, but quickly hid it by rushing to Cas' other side. Together, they hauled him into the impala, putting him in the back so Dean could keep an eye on him through the rearview mirror. Sam quickly ran inside and got Cas a blanket. The poor guy was shivering nonstop, his teeth chattering. He must have been in a lot of pain when it happened, because he kept crying out.

"Hang on, man. Just a little bit longer," Dean begged, driving off before Sam had the chance to say bye. He knew he was being rude, but Cas' life was on the line. He would apologize later, and knew Sammy would understand.

The dentist was fifteen minutes away, and Dean knew it was going to be the longest fifteen minutes of his life.

Looking back, Dean couldn't even remember the past few days. He could remember bits and pieces, but they felt like a dream. He didn't even feel fully awake right now.

He'd somehow managed to Help Cas into the waiting room, alone. After explaining the situation to the nurse, he was granted an emergency appointment and didn't have to wait for his turn. Cas was semi-conscious, but as soon as Dean helped him into the dental chair, his eyes snapped open, and he looked terrified.

"No, Dean, please," he begged, his voice weak.

Dean saw that Cas was trembling, but it seemed more out of fear than chills due to the fever.

"I'm sorry, man. It'll be over before you know it, then we can go grab a burger." It was Dean's attempt at a decent apology. He remembered how he'd felt when he and Sammy had taken a flight for one of their cases, back before he even knew Cas. He remembered the intense fear that gripped him, the way each breath took a lot of effort, and it seemed like his lungs couldn't get enough oxygen. His hands were sweaty, and it felt like he was going to throw up, or die, or both. He hated putting Cas through the same, but knew it had to be done. The thought wasn't as comforting as he wished it would be.

The dentist was an elderly woman. Dean told her about Castiel's fear of doctors, and she'd nodded sympathetically. Apparently, it was a common phobia, and she'd treated plenty of patients with it. She assured Dean that she would be gentle, but he still wasn't convinced. He insisted on staying in the room, and she'd agreed. She also told Dean that Cas had an abscessed tooth, and had to get a root canal. She would give him antibiotics afterwards to treat the infection,

Dean sat next to Cas and was surprised when Cas reached for his hand and weakly grasped it. He felt a little embarrassed, but let it slide because the poor dude looked so pathetic. Cas was breathing heavily, his hand trembling and sweaty. He looked green, as if he were about to blow chunks, and his eyes were extremely watery. He didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke volume.

_Help me Dean._

_ I don't want to do this._

_ Please don't let them hurt me._

_ Don't put me through this again._

_ Don't let go of my hand._

_ Just take me home._

_ I'm scared._

_ Please Dean._

Again, Dean broke eye contact. It was too much to handle. He wasn't tough enough for this. He swore; if Cas cried, or screamed, all hell would break lose.

"Okie dokie, we are ready to start the procedure," the dentist said cheerfully, putting on her surgical mask. "Your little friend here will be numbed, but completely awake. He shouldn't feel much pain, if any at all."

Dean wasn't sure it was a good idea to have Cas wake for it, but eager to get it over with, agreed and signed the papers. Everything was settled, and it was now time to get it over with.

"Almost as instantly as it started, tears started pouring down Castiel's cheeks. After a few minutes of watching him, Dean could take no more, and got up abruptly to 'use the restroom'. That's when all hell broke lose.

"Noo!" Cas cried out as he turned towards Dean.

"Shit!" the dentist cursed.

"Dean had no idea why she did, but realization dawned on him when Cas's mouth started bleeding significantly. He was crying at this point, His whole body heaving. He didn't seem to notice the blood. He reached out his arm towards Dean, much like a young child reaches out to be held.

"Dean, please," he begged between cries, gaining volume with each one.

Dean was overwhelmed. He didn't want to sit by; watching as Cas was hurt, but knew Cas needed him here by his side.

Pondering for a few seconds, he decided to sit back down, and this time, it was he who took Castiel's hand in his. Cas settled down, his eyes still spilling tears, but his cries almost nonexistent.

After what seemed like hours, the procedure was finally finished. Cas had to get stitches. When he'd moved, the dentist had accidentally cut open his gums in the wrong place, so now Cas had to take a few different medications. They were given the prescriptions, and that was that.

Cas was tired, Dean could tell. He'd been acting strange since the incident at the dentist. Dean hadn't gone into details with Sam, hadn't even told him about the handholding or Cas freaking out. Nonetheless, Sam knew something had occurred between them, but didn't bring it up.

Dean appreciated the discrepancy. He knew Cas was more than just a friend, and knew Cas felt the same way, but he couldn't bring himself to say those three simple words out loud. He couldn't admit to himself that he was in love with Cas, so how could he even begin to tell Sam, or Cas himself?

It turned out, he didn't have to.

"Dean?" Cas called out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Yeah?" Dean asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"You know when you told me that people shouldn't talk about their feelings?" Cas cocked his head to the side, watching Dean carefully.

"I did? I don't remember." Dean was curious now. "Why? Is there something you want to talk about?"

Cas shook his head, then nodded.

"Well?" Dean waited, but Cas said nothing.

Cas shook his head, and looked away. He whispered, "I'm not supposed to talk about it, " his voice sounding sad.

Dean grabbed Cas' chin and turned it to look at him. "Hey, you can tell me anything, you know that? Forget what I said before, I was young and stupid, and I was trying to protect myself from getting too attached and hurt. I'd had enough pain, you know? I was done. I built up a wall between me and the world, and the only person I let through was Sammy. Then I met this great guy, who showed me what true love was, who saved me, and taught me that I was worth being saved. He gave me hope, a reason to live, and my bitterness slowly faded away. This guy and I, we've been through so much."

Dean saw that there were tears in Cas' eyes, and was completely shocked when Cas pulled away and got up abruptly. "I must go now."

Dean was perplexed. He'd just confessed his love and gratitude to Cas, and this is what he got? Was he not clear enough?

"Wait, Cas, where are you going?" Dean caught up to Cas and grabbed him by the trench coat.

"Dean Winchester, you let me go right now," Cas ordered, trying to sound tough before breaking into tears.

Dean was lost. He had no idea what was going on, but his gut told him to just wrap Cas in his arms and hold him.

"Let me go," Cas cried out weakly, attempting to push Dean way, but Dean only held on tighter. "Please, don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Cas, what in the world are you talking about?" Dean held him, running a hand through Cas's messy hair.

"I can't stay with you anymore," Cas murmured between tears. "I don't want to get in between you and the man you are in love with. If I stay here, I'm afraid I won't be able to contain myself, and I'll either try to seduce you, kill him, kill myself, or try it all. Please, just let me go…"

Dean started laughing. He knew it was inappropriate, and might have hurt Cas's feelings even more, but the absurdity of what Cas said, along with the nerve-wracking minutes leading up to this moment, was just too much. He pulled away, and grabbed Cas's face in his hands. He leaned in, kissing those lips he'd been lusting for. It felt great, like a shock going through his whole body. He pulled Cas close, hungrily kissing him. Cas was taken by surprise, but wasn't complaining, or attempting to pull away.

Dean finally pulled away to catch his breath. "Now do you see? I love you, Cas. No one else but you. You're the one who saved me. You and I, we've been through so much. You've become a vital part of my life, and I refuse to spend another day without you sleeping by my side."

Cas was speechless. All he could do was nod and kiss Dean again. There was lust in his eyes, but also a deep yearning, and pure adoration for Dean Winchester. Too much heart was always Castiel's problem, and he had a soft spot for the Winchesters, but with such a big heart, Dean would make sure to give him a big family, and put that heart to good use.

It was true what they said. Even though it sounded sappy and cliché, you have to endure the rain in order to get a rainbow. As silly as those words had sounded to Dean Winchester when he first heard them, he now realized they were wise words indeed, and was now thankful that Sammy had given him a reason to live before Cas came along.

Now, they had six beautiful children. Bobby and John, their eldest children, who just happened to be identical twins, Henry, Adam, and Jimmy, the triplets, and Mary, his little girl.

Their house was crazy, always loud and messy, but he loved every second of it. Cas was the perfect husband, and he loved coming home to Cas and their little gang. He was a happy man, one of the only hunters in the world who'd managed to retire out of the business and live to tell the tale.

Sammy was now a fancy lawyer with a wife and two kids, and a third on the way. He had all girls, Ellen and Jo, and would name his third girl Jess.

Life was good for the Winchesters. They'd gotten out of the business, settled down, and had lost no more loved ones.

"It was about time we got our happy ending," Sam joked.

"Damn right," Dean exclaimed.


End file.
